Mind Your Own Business

[Hausamann]

You may have noticed I have posted a few stress related drawings. This is my last one. I am letting it be known that such drawings have helped me to come to terms and find deeper resolutions to my past. They have become a channel for cathartic release. I believe that creating art plays a major role in our personal development.

'Mind Your Own Business' is about a time after both neighbours from each side of us had complained to my parents. I was too young to understand or know any different. But then there was a time, while I was screaming in terror, the neighbour across the road came over to complain. It was only then I knew something was wrong at home.

 

[JStarr]

A shrink would have a field day with these.

It is very strong work, both emotionally and as a piece of art- I especially notice the child-like rendering of the house across the road- it is the perfect small child-made house.

My empathy on such trauma as your base of emotional knowledge.

 

[Hausamann]

A shrink would have a field day with these.

It is very strong work, both emotionally and as a piece of art- I especially notice the child-like rendering of the house across the road- it is the perfect small child-made house.

My empathy on such trauma as your base of emotional knowledge.

Interesting critique. You helped me to realise something about myself at the time of drawing. Thanks.

These sketches were done in haste so as not to dwell on them. I chose charcoal and A3 paper to make the sketch quick and easy. There was no time for finer details. During the sketch I was brought back to the small child that I was at the time.

 

[JStarr]

During the sketch I was brought back to the small child that I was at the time.

Exactly.

Which is why I mentioned it.

 

[Artyczar]

I love this and agree with you about how art can be a kind of healing medication for our development. It has always been that for me. I don't even know what some of my work is about at times until it's finished, and I look back on it. I relate very much to yours. I have dealt with a lot of trauma myself.

 

[CaliAnn]

Very interesting work - you tell a big story with that sketch - I think it's awesome!

 

[PaintBoss]

My best or most powerful art piece came from my psychologist asking me to draw my issue which was deep rooted to home and childhood and my mother. It was not a piece of fine art. It was never meant to be- it was to get it out. It took me a while just to be able to enter the piece. I didn’t even know where to start but then once I got in it, it all came together- much like yours. It did help surprisingly. Mine really expressed a lot of deep seated pain and it was the inner child getting to speak. It was kind of amazing. Maybe I will post it too. If I can find it. But I was not an artist while doing that, I just was the person. The kid. It was powerful. And my husband said that was the best work I had ever done. And it had nothing to do with finesse. It can really help with being seen and heard- acknowledged. Just lay it down. With some speed or whatever. If it flows out of you, let it come. It sounds like things are better for you now, and that time of your life and that very emotional experience was pivotal. I’m glad something good came out of it. Hard moments lead to epiphanies sometimes. It sounds like you realized this and realized things could not stay the way they were. It wasn’t normal to live feeling that way. Or being treated that way. Very important moment. Thank you for posting.

 

[ntl]

Yes, a heart-felt thanks. I've been painting major events of my life over the last year or so and every once in a while a traumatic memory appears that I want to do, but haven't. Maybe now's the time.

"These sketches were done in haste so as not to dwell on them. I chose charcoal and A3 paper to make the sketch quick and easy. There was no time for finer details."
I think doing them hastily, not dwelling on them might work for me. Hadn't thought of using charcoal, was going to use pastels or oil bars. Charcoal might be good for me to use, too.
Thank you for this.

 

[PaintBoss]

I used charcoal as well. And yes, we have to kind of push past the artist part of us and just put marks down and then go where it leads us. Not be thinking about people looking like they’re supposed to look (nope)or anything like that.
Faster is better. Free flow. No finesse. Just getting the story down. However you want to say it or get the feelings out.
When you’re in front of the paper and it’s blank, it can feel very imposing. I did mention it’s hard to sum everything up. So you sort of have to find a way into the piece. If you have a problem with that like I did, I just put on some music, and decided to start. Literally, with my hand over the paper. And I started with a very basic scene, a rudimentary house and laneway and once I started, I could put things around it or in it that I wanted. I could place myself in the piece and I could place my mother in it. Fact is once I started, it just came out. I found it very rewarding and worthwhile experience. Now afterwards it’s a very strong piece. It isn’t like a scary piece but my psychologist and hubby said they could feel the energy coming off of it. Sadness. The intention psychologist had was to put it in a pail and burn it with her. To let it go. But then she decided that might not be the best thing to do on the office lawns. Lol I ended up keeping it but I had to put it away because it is so dtring- the vibe. I have to see if it’s around. You know i was amazed what came out, and how i covered a lot in one drawing. But yes, go for it. Later I just painted how I felt with colours and it was waves and undulating forms. That felt good. I noticed as I painted I went from feeling low / oppressed to feeling hopeful and better, freer. I like looking at that piece even if makes sense only to me.

 

[Bongo]

I have long forgiven my parents for their faults and don't see any value in revisiting them - let alone immortalizing those situations in paint. What I need to do is stop beating myself up for my own wrong decisions and behaviour and channel that energy into being the best person I can going forward.

There is an old adage - "If you want to send a message use Western Union". The dude abides. Having said that --

This is a painting I made A LONG TIME ago My concentration at the time was on its formal and aesthetic qualities only afterwards did I see the personally relevant symbolism.

 

[PaintBoss]

Cool painting.

 

[Bongo]

thanks PB.

 

[moonreader123]

nice

 

[Artyczar]

I love that painting Bongo. And I hear you about forgiveness. But everyone has their own story and circumstance, and most importantly, their own capacity for resilience. Resilience is something that is built very, very early on and some of us are nurtured with it, and some of us are not to a greater or lesser degree. Not everyone can "snap out of" deep-seated trauma. I say, whatever helps the healing process, good on ya. People are very surprised at what I have forgiven my parents for. Their acts were unspeakable really, but trauma is lifelong. It lives in the body. It goes on in the mind to some extent, depending on how one takes to therapy. I feel like all my art is therapy to some degree. It's a way for me to "laugh it off." That's healing. It helps me to rewrite the negative and make a positive.

 

[bethany]

I love that painting Bongo. And I hear you about forgiveness. But everyone has their own story and circumstance, and most importantly, their own capacity for resilience. Resilience is something that is built very, very early on and some of us are nurtured with it, and some of us are not to a greater or lesser degree. Not everyone can "snap out of" deep-seated trauma. I say, whatever helps the healing process, good on ya. People are very surprised at what I have forgiven my parents for. Their acts were unspeakable really, but trauma is lifelong. It lives in the body. It goes on in the mind to some extent, depending on how one takes to therapy. I feel like all my art is therapy to some degree. It's a way for me to "laugh it off." That's healing. It helps me to rewrite the negative and make a positive.

That is so well said, Ayin! Thank you for being so open in your writing and in your artworks.
I have used my art to tell my story in different ways and especially to process grief. What I have learned is that forgiveness is a gift to myself. To let go and move on is the hardest thing but is vital to my mental health. I hope to continue and storytelling through my art.

 

[Bongo]

I love that painting Bongo. And I hear you about forgiveness. But everyone has their own story and circumstance, and most importantly, their own capacity for resilience.

100% Everyone has their own experience. I should have prefaced it as such. I have heard stories of others' upbringing, and mine was a cakewalk by comparison.

 

[ntl]

I do appreciate this thread. Shortly after reading it I got out the charcoal and cheapo sketch pad, and in about 5 minutes did a drawing of one the most traumatic events of my life, one that impacts me even now, decades later. I work on forgiveness and am making progress. With this one done, maybe I can do others.
This first was the original, ~8x8. I tried a few more times, but, as someone said, they didn't have the energy. The second is the same drawing, I just added darks and shadows.

and the second:

 

[Artyczar]

ntl, I love this drawing, especially after you added the shadows. The one with the forbearing adult really adds to the intensity. Really well done.

 

[ntl]

Arty, thanks. To quote a favorite author, Louise Penny,
"Long dead, and buried in another town,

my mother hasn’t finished with me yet."