Not those because I can't do it, lately I've been trying a bit because I love chiaroscuro but also colour. Whether it's a drawing or a painting, I wish I could do even one nice thing. A drawing or a painting that looks beautiful and well done. I believe that if I succeeded for a moment silence would return, instead of the buzz of regrets, of feeling like a failure for being weak, having left control of my life always to my father who did not want me to have a life, a chance, to have tried to take it back late and not entirely for what I wanted and then surrender again, for fear, fragility and Drawing was something I liked but I hadn't done in a long time, having never thought I could do it at medium or even high levels I don't mind failing because learning it really would be a miracle and these are not something normal or that depends on me, so the result is not something that conditions me but a mirage that could also remain so, everything else is more painful Learning to draw I don't know whether to draw personal things or events that bother or the ugliness of the world maybe sarcastically, I don't know if with drawing they would exorcise themselves, personally thinking about them even for drawing would be painful thoughts. One of the things about redesigning and that the first few days did not make me think, then I started thinking of episodes like when I stopped drawing, or that if 13 years ago I had the drawing I would not give up or heartbroken or that the main bully is worse than I had in my life after my father, bully found only in the last years of school because The main part of the country, we were isolated in the abandoned part already then where it is ok by car but my father discouraged my mother from driving, he was not a violent physically but with words yes and prevented you from doing everything and gave you a failure, I have this bitterness and annoyance for myself because I realised that by not saving myself I did not save even my mother who is not bad, she was only fragile, succumb.