Hey Donna, I sure do understand where you are coming from. I sincerely hope you get some improvement, even if its in trade offs at times. Like, pain yes, but no dizziness. You have much to contend with.
I would long to touch a canvas. It burned so brightly in me that I knew I would some day, as soon as I could, no matter how feeble, do it again. I held that in front of me for 8 years! It is still not common for me to do any art because of chronic illness. But same principle applies. It is a matter of when and not if I will do it again. No, family does not understand. Don’t know why I need all the stuff, and where I can see most of it from my bed. Lol They think it just collects dust. But my mind is busy by what it represents.
At one point they insisted on me getting rid of everything because we really didn’t think I’d ever be able to do anything again. And then everything was life-threatening which only got worse with the ongoing sepsis. And I would get upset and say no. I will get rid of the stuff I know I won’t use again and the big stuff, but this is who I am. It’s me. Bad health may be taking everything away from me, But I was not ready to give up the essential me and hope just yet! Art was my hope. That IS the fight in me! I do not care if I am a slow turtle and it takes years, but I have to have art in my life. When it was really bad I bought art just so that I had something to stare at when I couldn’t get out of my room and do anything but struggle to breathe and not panic. It is so important. And you know what? I am so thankful I have that in me and I’m so thankful that I have a ability to do it whenever I feel like I can. So fortunate. I still have something! I stare at my empty canvases or my unfinished canvases and consider the possibilities. It helped me cope.
So Donna, I hope you get feeling relief of any kind, and I hope to see you around even if it’s in little bits and bobs, like myself. So dependant on how you feel I know. Even if you just pop in and said hey. Let us know you’re still kicking. See the gang. I hope you can sometime do something with your art.
Take good care. Keep the faith ( art!)