Reason I've Been Absent Lately

[WFMartin]

As I may have mentioned before, my life was changed when my wife of (now) 64 years acquired dementia. The symptoms vary all over the place with each patient who is inflicted, and with her it is complete loss of short-term memory. In other words, she recognizes everyone in the family, but can't remember things that occurred 5 to 10 minutes ago. I could not care for her at home, because of the problems she caused within the household, with hiding, and misplacing things--important things, such as bills documents, keys, and the like.

Her behavior was also combative, and belligerent, and hostile toward me, especially, and she would not seek professional help. Without delving into the many problems she experienced with the disease, suffice it to say that she is now in a memory care center only about 3 miles from my house, which in this town is very close. I try to visit her twice a week.

But, it seems that with Carol's being placed in such a facility, my inspiration to create art has just seemed to have diminished. I am not creative any more, nor am I inspired to work at my oil painting, which I dearly loved prior to the problems with my wife. I have done more with my music lately, and I play guitar with my son, and a friend down the street. I think that I feel more comfortable doing a task for which I have other people with me, rather than painting alone in my little studio.

Hope that makes sense. I plan to do my best to get back into painting once again, and with any luck, I will. Until then, I hope my art friends here will understand. Have a great New Year, everyone!

 

[Marksmomagain]

Gods Blessings to you, your wife and your son Mr. Martin.

 

[WFMartin]

Thank you!

 

[MurrayG]

How very brave to tell this community of your situation. It is such a cruel disease. My heart goes out to you, your family, and those supporting you.

 

[Hermes2020]

Thank you for the update. Please keep on posting in Creative Spark and even if you don't show any new art for now, it would be interesting to hear more about your music making and the composers you like. Remember, we are a caring family and more than just a forum to share our work.

 

[Iain]

As I may have mentioned before, my life was changed when my wife of (now) 64 years acquired dementia. The symptoms vary all over the place with each patient who is inflicted, and with her it is complete loss of short-term memory. In other words, she recognizes everyone in the family, but can't remember things that occurred 5 to 10 minutes ago. I could not care for her at home, because of the problems she caused within the household, with hiding, and misplacing things--important things, such as bills documents, keys, and the like.

Her behavior was also combative, and belligerent, and hostile toward me, especially, and she would not seek professional help. Without delving into the many problems she experienced with the disease, suffice it to say that she is now in a memory care center only about 3 miles from my house, which in this town is very close. I try to visit her twice a week.

But, it seems that with Carol's being placed in such a facility, my inspiration to create art has just seemed to have diminished. I am not creative any more, nor am I inspired to work at my oil painting, which I dearly loved prior to the problems with my wife. I have done more with my music lately, and I play guitar with my son, and a friend down the street. I think that I feel more comfortable doing a task for which I have other people with me, rather than painting alone in my little studio.

Hope that makes sense. I plan to do my best to get back into painting once again, and with any luck, I will. Until then, I hope my art friends here will understand. Have a great New Year, everyone!

Thanks for the update. I haven't posted here recently. Your earlier posts about you and your families' situation have stayed with me and I have wondered how things were going. You have to do what feels right for you. Best wishes.

 

[snoball]

Hi Bill. Dementia is such a sad disease. It is almost like they are a prisoner in their own mind. I went through this with an aunt and it is so pitiful for the person and all their loved ones. I'm sorry to hear that you have lost desire to create art. That is a great loss to the world. However I can understand, since I myself, have lost a lot of desire since I have not had time to create. Hopefully we will both regain our mojo. Thinking about you Bill, and hoping for the best in your life.

 

[Artyczar]

Bill, I have been thinking about you and Carol and am glad to hear of this update. Please stay in touch with us here whether you make any visual art or not. We care!

MUCH love to you.

 

[CaliAnn]

I'm very sorry for what you are going through - it is heartbreaking. I understand about not painting. I am going through some health issues myself and trying to focus on that. But I find it therapeutic to be on this board. I am inspired by all the wonderful people and art here - and every now and again, on a good day, I'll pick up a pencil and do a little doodling/drawing. Blessings to you

 

[Donna T]

It's good to hear from you, Bill, and I'm sorry for all that you and Carol are going through. It's no wonder that don't feel much like painting at the moment. If playing guitar serves as your creative outlet then I'm so grateful that you have that ability. There's a tremendous amount of support here and we'd like to hear from you whether you're painting or not.

 

[ZenDruid]

As I may have mentioned before, my life was changed when my wife of (now) 64 years acquired dementia. The symptoms vary all over the place with each patient who is inflicted, and with her it is complete loss of short-term memory. In other words, she recognizes everyone in the family, but can't remember things that occurred 5 to 10 minutes ago. I could not care for her at home, because of the problems she caused within the household, with hiding, and misplacing things--important things, such as bills documents, keys, and the like.

Her behavior was also combative, and belligerent, and hostile toward me, especially, and she would not seek professional help. Without delving into the many problems she experienced with the disease, suffice it to say that she is now in a memory care center only about 3 miles from my house, which in this town is very close. I try to visit her twice a week.

But, it seems that with Carol's being placed in such a facility, my inspiration to create art has just seemed to have diminished. I am not creative any more, nor am I inspired to work at my oil painting, which I dearly loved prior to the problems with my wife. I have done more with my music lately, and I play guitar with my son, and a friend down the street. I think that I feel more comfortable doing a task for which I have other people with me, rather than painting alone in my little studio.

Hope that makes sense. I plan to do my best to get back into painting once again, and with any luck, I will. Until then, I hope my art friends here will understand. Have a great New Year, everyone!

Thank you Bill for sharing this. I don't know what you're going through but I can understand as I have dealt with two elderly relatives who were beyond helping themselves. We feel helpless, why is this happening to me, and us, and we feel the whole weight of responsibility on our shoulders. We expect ouselves to find a survival path for them. We can't and that's the cruelty. We silently grieve long before their passing. Eventually we have to disengage emotionally for our own sanity and to be effective care givers. It is easy to say "this too shall pass" but, it will. Stay strong. The guitar and music is a good place to go.

 

[joe1It]

Bill, thanks for the update. i was sorry that you and your wife had to go through this. happy new year to you too. all the best to you and your family. you are a fantastic artist and teacher and very generous to everyone in your painting posts. i am glad that you're playing, yes, what you say about playing and doing it in a group makes sense, I've never played but I always listen and without music I wouldn't even want to scribble. Making music I create will give similar but stronger emotions. a warm greeting and best wishes to you and your family for the best.

 

[Terri]

Thank you for sharing all of this with us here, Bill. Seems perfectly understandable to put certain things aside while you and your family come to terms with this development, and your new reality. Wonderful to hear that you're playing music, so you have an artistic outlet and can be around some friends and family. When and if the time feels right for you to get back to painting, all your supplies will be there waiting. No expiration date on that. We'll all still be right here whenever you feel like checking in. Best and warm wishes to you and your family for a good New Year.

 

[WFMartin]

I want to thank all of you for your profound understanding, and your warm wishes. I am grateful to all of you! I rest a little easier knowing that Carol is in a place that can watch over her 24/7. I surely couldn't. I experienced the results of this dementia when I was young, as my grandpa had it, and also one of my dad's sisters--my aunt. Honestly, the symptoms are so varied, and numerous that they cannot be pigeon-holed, for sure.

This is a 16" x 20" oil on canvas panel that I painted of my wife, Carol, when our art club was still functioning. It's not bad, but I don't consider myself to be a portrait artist. In fact, I used this as a demonstration to other artists in my club who, like I, have difficulty with achieving a likeness of their subject. I discovered a method that can greatly help achieve a likeness, with no drawing, or sketching, whatsoever. It has helped me greatly, in achieving a likeness. I tried to pass that knowledge along to my art club members.

 

[snoball]

I've always loved this portrait Bill.

 

[laika]

Sorry to hear of your tribulations, Bill. Dementia takes its toll on everyone who loves the person afflicted. I went through similar circumstances with my Dad recently, and I haven't so much as doodled in weeks, so I think I can relate and sympathize with your situation. I have found that it helps to look at the works and observations of our friends here at CS. Thanks for this update.

 

[Jo Castillo]

Sorry to hear this. Problems like this takes our creative side and puts it to work in the caring and loving of our loved ones. Music is a great outlet and good for your soul. Sending good vibes to you and yours.

 

[Terri]

I want to thank all of you for your profound understanding, and your warm wishes. I am grateful to all of you! I rest a little easier knowing that Carol is in a place that can watch over her 24/7. I surely couldn't. I experienced the results of this dementia when I was young, as my grandpa had it, and also one of my dad's sisters--my aunt. Honestly, the symptoms are so varied, and numerous that they cannot be pigeon-holed, for sure.View attachment 27748

This is a 16" x 20" oil on canvas panel that I painted of my wife, Carol, when our art club was still functioning. It's not bad, but I don't consider myself to be a portrait artist. In fact, I used this as a demonstration to other artists in my club who, like I, have difficulty with achieving a likeness of their subject. I discovered a method that can greatly help achieve a likeness, with no drawing, or sketching, whatsoever. It has helped me greatly, in achieving a likeness. I tried to pass that knowledge along to my art club members.

Beautiful work! I can't speak to the likeness, but you assuredly captured an intelligent and lovely woman.

 

[Artyczar]

Beautiful portrait Bill. She looks like a wonderful person. I can tell

 

[E.J.H.]

Sorry to hear about the difficult time you are going through.
I really like the contributions you have made to this forum, and it is nice to see you are back again.
That is a very beautiful portrait of your wife. Your love for her shines through.