Gonna call it Time to Critique

[JStarr]

I may have finished this today. Short work- only two days, but I need fresh eyes.

I don't like to use black or white or actual gray in my work- black is extremely rare (my eyes see it as a hole) gray even more rarely, and white only when my very light hues aren't light enough. This one has some white in the upper rose's tips, but not as much as the photo shows- mostly those petal tips are a homemade extra light cream and a very hard eggshell stick I got out of a student set of some sort. I mostly used it as a light blender.

I like to use layered complements and secondary complements to make grayed values, warm and cool, and use complements as a contrast between shapes to push/pull the composition and eyepath Dunno if I managed that.

Pointers welcomed.

 

[snoball]

Oh, it's terrible! Just mop it out and start over. Seriously, I can't see that you have a problem with it, on any level. It is exquisite! I love it!

 

[Enyaw]

Not my style by far but wonderfully done. The top of the glass does not look right: to these old eyes. It may be too small or simply getting more attention than it deserves.

 

[JStarr]

Not my style by far but wonderfully done. The top of the glass does not look right: to these old eyes. It may be too small or simply getting more attention than it deserves.

You're right! I put it in slapdash at the end, and it was more slap than dash- it looks like a soda can top! I'll fix that toot de sweet! Thank you!

 

[JStarr]

Oh, it's terrible! Just mop it out and start over. Seriously, I can't see that you have a problem with it, on any level. It is exquisite! I love it!

lol Thank you! I'm thinking it is going to SisinLaw for Christmas- they are all (*ALL*) coming here, and this is small enough that, if bubble wrapped, can easily fit in a suitcase home.

I've straightened the "horizon" line of the left side, and widened up some of the rose petals on the bottom rose so it doesn't look too much the baby-sibling. Now to fix what Wayne saw (thank you, again, Wayne) and I think it'll go in glassine until framed.

 

[snoball]

I hardly noticed the "popcan" top. I've seen glasses made that way so I just thought maybe you were using one of those.

 

[Maybenartist]

Subtle, serene and well defined, I can't see anything that needs changing.

 

[JStarr]

Subtle, serene and well defined, I can't see anything that needs changing.

Thanks- I do like a composition which gets its dynamics from a balancing act.

 

[Jo Castillo]

Beautiful and perfect. Lovely gift .. she will love it.

 

[Artyczar]

Simply exquisite. It's perfectly accomplished. You should be taking bows and receiving bouquets. Be proud.

 

[Bongo]

magnificent. Looking for a superlative that hasn't been said yet.

 

[Donna T]

It has all been said and I agree with it all!

 

[JStarr]

Thank you, Jo, Ayin, Bongo and Donna- I appreciate your kind words.

 

[Hausamann]

@JStarr, I hate critiquing. I always fear that I may offend, but at the same time I know that if I don't say anything I will only be keeping you in the dark - which I don't want to do. So here goes...

The flowers shown side on, aesthetically, point to the side, as if looking in that direction (much like a person looking to the side). In this case the observer wants to be led somewhat to the left, but quickly finds a dead end. If the layout was a bit wider, and having the vase where it is, the extra space to the left would make the composition more settled in place. To give the left hand space more weight then, often a painter uses something else in that space, or alters the tone in the area to balance it out.

Also, when viewing through a glass of water, the plant stem displays a water refraction. Painting this refraction helps to give the glass more depth and realism.

The rest of the work is very good.

 

[JStarr]

I see what you mean. Maybe next time- or before I frame it, I'll give the right-side bottom "wall" a juicy bit of grayed hues there, warm, perhaps, to pull the eye over, and revisit the break in the water surface (I tried the bent stem bit, but it just looked really -- odd [and isn't in the reference] so settled for a water surface distortion)- but the easel is already in use again.**

I do still-life comps I like a few times- pulling one out again every couple years and doing it all over. I like to see the changes I've made and make.

Thanks for the eyes and ideas

**This one's background is a warm grey of lavender, teal-ish green and peachy-orange, all quite light- it is a stunner so far- so I'm wondering if its warm contrast with this one of the roses- which is predominantly cool- will help balance the weight of the flowers.

 

[CaliAnn]

Beautiful!

 

[JStarr]

Thank you, Madame!