think this video is relevant in this thread.
It is, almost an hour long but worth it. I went back to read the whole thread, very interesting, starting with Donna's original question, and all the following answers of good advice.
These bring up a variety of related but random ideas that have been running around in my head lately, so I'm going to indulge myself and dump them here.
First, I think art should transcend reality. A photograph is not reality. The camera does not copy reality especially when we swap lenses or zoom in and out. What we see is also not reality. We get light waves through our eyes and our brain sorts them out according to what we've been taught since childbirth.
We can look at a tree, we can draw it, paint it, photograph it, hug it, lick the bark, eat the leaves, draw out sap to make syrup, read pages of scientific taxonomy about the tree, and in the end we still don't know the reality of the tree. Only the tree knows. There's a whole rabbit hole for exploring reality.
As artists, we have the freedom, opportunity and maybe obligation to put our own vision of reality on the model and the picture. I think that's what viewers want to see. Every artist I think of that I like is not slavishly copying "reality", they're expressing their own vision. I think SLG referred well to that.
I have a friend who photographs in film and is also a very good artist in a variety of mediums. Lately he's taken to copying his photographs in hyper-photo-realism in pencil and pen. His draftsmanship is excruciatingly good, sharper than the photograph. He gets applause but I don't see that as art, I see it as illustration.
I took a university course in life drawing in a studio, with other student artists and a real nude model. For the first time, I felt like I had joined the art world. My drawing was tight, I was trying to make an accurate rendition, the instructor wanted me to loosen up and get creative. I didn't understand that then, but I do now.
My last job before retiring, was as director of the Kent-Delord House Museum in Plattsburgh, NY. This was a family house built in the 1700's. We had a good collection, 200 years worth, of original family portraits in oil, one in pastels. I looked at them a lot. It occurred to me that the artist and the person sitting for him spent a lot of time together and there was a lot of energy passing between them that could still be seen in their eyes. Visitors to the museum would ask, of course, if there were any ghost stories about the house. We had a few anecdotal incidents, but I invited them to go take a good look at the portraits.
Here's a brain trick: Take a favorite photo in hand or on screen. Cover one eye with your hand and look at the photo with your dominant eye. At first it looks flat but focus on the background behind the subject, then look at the whole photo again. You should get an illusion of three dimensions. The brain has adjusted. Amaze your friends at the next cocktail party.
Probably none of this helps Donna.