What are you up to?

Hermes and Arty, I hope you’re both out of pain as soon as possible. Sounds terrible. Arty, concerned, I’m so sorry to hear you are. suffering and also having to navigate your medical and insurance system. I hope you can find out what is wrong as quickly as possible and then I hope you can get the treatment you need. I hear about the insurance woes many people face in the US. I’m really sorry health issues has been happening to you all . Hugs to everyone. I hope you all feel better soon.
I have good news. I’m struggling to get around very much like Ellen. Although Ellen, you’ve done great because you’re a lot older than me. But it’s not easy. I have been able to do just a little more. I finally got out of my town -that was not a hospital visit- and got to my daughterā€˜s first new apartment an hour away. My family guided and I was able to go up and down the stairs slowly, myself. It was wonderful. She was so happy and I was so happy. It’s very tiny gains. One day I am ahead a little bit, and then I slip back. But I’m pushing right now. Gotta keep trying. Sometimes you can’t. It’s OK. sometimes you just have to stop and sometimes you are just in it. Then you have to try to get yourself out of that as soon as you have little openings even if it’s very difficult.
Arty I just read about a young lady who had constant severe headaches all of a sudden that lasted for several months I guess. You gotta be careful with that. It can be very serious. I’m glad you’re getting all that testing done. And I also hope they find an answer because it’s also frustrating when you don’t have answers. But there’s many reasons why that could be happening. We have another regular on the site who deals with severe nonstop, headaches, and has for years and she’s lovely. She’s been very supportive of me privately, very understanding. You may wish to speak to her.
 
Haven't done much since the trip. Been also dealing with medical problems and insurance woes...
I think many of the problems have been traced to a newer medication I started. I think it's causing a lot of negative side effects. So I'm trying to get ahold of the doctor to see about either reducing the dose or weaning right off of it. I might just wean off anyways. It's an absolute nightmare getting refills on it, and it's driving me nuts. So between refill troubles and side effects, I don't think it's worth the benefit and just kind of want to be done with it.

Also been incredibly depressed. Without getting political, I'm Canadian, in the process of immigrating to the US to stay with my husband. The process has been immensely stressful, and due to changes being made, I'm basically now cut off from returning home to see my family for an undetermined amount of time. I'm very close with my mum, so this is really difficult for me. She's also dealing with some serious medical issues and I'm concerned that I may not be able to go back if something happens. That part aside... I've honestly just been really homesick lately. And knowing I likely won't be returning for years, is hurting. My in-laws are also not sympathetic to the situation and have a habit of saying things that they either aren't realizing hurt me, or they simply don't care. A remark made today makes me feel like it's the latter. So... I'm just struggling right now. I also don't really have anyone here to talk to about it. I'll probably talk to hubby eventually... but for reasons, I don't think he'll take it the best... So I'm opting to just bottle the stress for now.

Anyways... Been staring at my unfinished art projects for days. I feel like I should try to finish them but I just don't have the motivation right now. I missed an art contest I was going to enter because I didn't finish the piece on time (stopped working on it ages ago). I almost feel like I need something new to try or something. Just not sure what... Maybe I should take a trip to Michaels and see if I find anything interesting in there to try. I'd go to the Blick, but I don't have the means to get there right now...

I miss gardening. That was always a big hobby for me and a good stress reliever. This house has no yard though... so I can't do any outdoor gardening. No annual vegetable or pollinator gardens. And there's very limited indoor space, so not much indoor gardening either. Other than a couple orchids I have. I wonder if I could fit some half barrels outside the back door? Then I could use those as small raised gardens perhaps.

Anyways... Sorry for rambling about life problems...
:oops:
 
Do not feel bad for sharing. So sorry you’re having all these worries. Please feel free to message me if you want to share. It’s helpful to unload and just get it out of your head and tell somebody. Sharing just takes a little bit of the load off. A sympathetic ear helps us to cope. Try not to keep bottling it up. That only makes you feel sick in the end.
Members here have been very good and very patient with me. And I’ve received compassionate messages from sweet people. It just helps so much. I am impressed always that people DO care. It’s not a matter of offering solutions because there may not be any easy solutions. It’s a matter of sharing the load. Not feeling so alone.
I relate to your medical and side effect issues and having to weigh whether it’s worthwhile to stay on medication. It’s amazingingly horrible what side effects can happen. Medication I can’t go off is really the biggest thing interfering with me right now too. Working on attempting adjustments now.
And I’m Canadian too! So I can just imagine all the pressure from every direction and the worry you’re feeling. My mom is also at the age where her health is not good and time could run out at any time. So I understand the concern there. Which must be so maximized being unsure when you’ll be able to visit next. Sometimes it’s better to share with somebody instead of your spouse. Especially if it’s something they can’t really do anything about. And there is a difference between Canadians and Americans which may be hard for some Americans to understand. Extremely stressful what’s going on between the two countries right now. Canada will always be home in your heart no matter where you are.
I understand what it feels like to become depressed. And nothing gets done regarding art. But I would like to encourage you to start doing art, any at all. Don’t pressure yourself. But if you feel a pull to start something that gets you excited and motivated, go for it. I’m eye-balling one of my canvases right now- just to put down paint in cheerful colours. just to touch the canvas again can bring a lot of joy. Even if I have to touch it and leave it for weeks. There is an afterglow and hope and plans. Of course I have my longstanding landscape to complete. I need to get it done and I started working on it a month ago, which tickled me that I was able to even do it. Then my health worsened again but it is a cycle. And I promised myself if I’m a turtle and I have to do it slow, it’s better than never doing it at all! I’ve also got a massive canvas I want to do, but I want to go in three different directions. I have to try to settle on one. It shows I am still ambitious!
So I think the first canvas I mentioned will be a really good exercise for me to paint-just getting paint on a canvas for fun. Without any pressure. The delight I feel just getting started - just putting down paint- makes me so darn proud of myself. I feel great psychologically at the end of the day. I go to bed with a smile on my face and that’s a good way to start getting your joy and confidence/ motivation back. I recommend it. Just start. Do anything.šŸ™‚
((HUGS))
 
Thank you, I might take you up on that offer. It's been a lot honestly. Might be good to vent a bit.

Much appreciated.
 
Kay: your photos of Germany are really good. :)

Ellen: so sorry to hear about your health issues. :(

I've been absent for a while now. I can't sit at the computer long, but in a nutshell, I had pneumonia at the end of my solo show in January that later turned into some kind of infection that has given me incredible headaches since February. All day, every day! I've been seeing a lot of doctors and am still getting tests, different types of MRIs, etc., and trying all kinds of medications to curb the pain. Not much has worked yet. It's all about waiting for the insurance to cover the meds and the tests. Blah blah blah. So sorry I've been away. I'm working hard to get back to the forum, but I'll probably never catch up with everything I've missed.
Sorry you're having these health problems, I hope they're sorted soon and that the headaches leave you in peace.
 
The school year is running down and things are getting crazy… especially the kids as the weather warms up. As such… I’m usually too exhausted after work to work on painting. Lately, I have been filling out my Spotify classical play list. Most of the list at present is made up of files of favorite: favorite piano concertos, favorite cello works, etc… I’ve now started making lists of various composers and filling these with as many great recordings that I have on CD (most in storage) and can remember. I can do this while listening to a recording on Spotify.
 
Been busy the past week. As previously mentioned, there's no yard here so gardening was pretty limited. We have a small fenced in space at the back of the house, but it's all patio.

Well, we decided to tear up a portion of the patio to convert it into a small vegetable garden. We made a roughly 5 by 8 foot plot. Had to pull out all the patio stones (which we discovered was placed in a double layer), remove all the larger stones underneath, and rake out most of the smaller ones. We then put in a border to clean it up. The soil was really thick clay, so we dug down as deep as we could, broke it up, and mixed in 10 bags of organic matter to make it more workable and hopefully better suited for growing. We purchased a couple plants and got them situated, then partially mulched the garden. Part of the garden is still exposed, pending the addition of some pepper plants. We had grown some peppers from seeds, initially intending to put them in pots, but they're now going to go in the new garden once they've adjusted to the sunlight.

We started having a huge problem with the stray cat colony, who decided the garden was a perfect new litter box. So we put together a makeshift fence with some netting and bamboo poles we had. So far it seems to be doing the trick. They've stayed out since. Thank goodness. There's easily about 50 cats in the plaza and it was becoming an annoying cleanup job keeping up with them. Not to mention we don't want our food plant garden being used as a toilet...

Lastly, we ordered some planters and brackets, and put them along the fence for herbs. We got them filled through the week and now each contains two plants (one contains three smaller ones). We also cleaned up a strawberry planter we had lying around and filled it with strawberry plants. We found two varieties that stay small and are supposed to be good for containers. So decided to give them a try.

Once that project is all complete, we're going to hang a larger planter on the other side of the patio and fill it with flowers for the hummingbirds. I have a feeder over there and have been getting visitors. So I want to get some new flowers for them too. Then we're going to see if we can use the pulled up patio stones to build a small raised bed on the outside of the fence, fill it with fresh soil and put some flower mixes in. Then we're hoping to redo the back pathway (it's made of circular stones right now and we hate them. We just trip on them).

Lastly, we've been researching banana trees. We have a sunny corner of the patio we were thinking might be nice for a large tropical plant. We're thinking a smaller banana tree. I used to grow them in Ontario (though they usually didn't make it through the indoor overwintering) and I was hoping to try again now that I'm in a warmer climate. We found a 30 gallon pot for local pickup, though may order something larger. Then just have to decide on a banana variety. We've found a few that stay smaller, sound suitable for the climate, and sound okay for containers. Just have to make our final decision.

We were debating at first because the homeowners' association used to have a whole "nothing higher than your fence" rule a long time ago. I don't know if it still stands though. Several neighbors have huge bottlebrushes growing over their fences, one has an orange tree growing over. Nobody's seemed bothered. And, we're at the back of the complex, near the end of the row of houses. So our tree wouldn't really be in anyone's view anyways. So we're of a mind to just go for it.

I hope our efforts work out though. This is my first time growing in this climate, so I don't entirely know what to expect. K's never really done gardening either, so also doesn't know how it'll go. We've both been enjoying the project though. Been keeping us occupied, and we're happy with the progress so far. :)
 
On my way to the shop this morning, signs of autumn everywhere...

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But what miserable weather for this time of year. Usually, autumn is the most glorious time of the year around here: mellow, sunny days, with cool, crisp nights, not too hot or too cold, everything beautiful. No such luck this year: virtually non-stop cloud and rain.

In fact, ever since my landlady finally got with the program and had those solar panels installed, we seem not to have had a single sunny day. Clearly she was tempting fate. But the joke is on fate: the panels work even in cloudy weather. :-)

Yesterday we had a bit of sun, so I took a quick stroll around the block:

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The beautiful African olive pigeons are fairly common here, but they seldom cooperate with photographers - I was lucky to have this one pose so neatly on a patterned background:

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Autumn or not, there are still lots of flowers available, and the bees are still very busy:

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On my way to the shop, I noticed this monstrosity in a garden:

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I can't quite decide whether it's cool or tasteless. :D

And more signs of autumn...

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These are American sweet gum trees, which are often used as street trees here, and have magnificent autumn colours. :-)
 
American Sweet Gum Trees are native to Ohio… although more common further south than where I live on the ā€œNorth Coastā€ of the state. They have similarities… especially in terms of the appearance of the leaves šŸā€¦ with the Maple Tree. The Maple Trees are far more prevalent here… which is obvious considering the name of the town I live in is Maple Heights.
 
Since my headaches are pretty much under control with new medications, I've been meaning to get back to painting again, but I haven't done much on that tip. I didn't mention that I also had a back procedure that seemed to ruin my everyday back pain. It was supposed to help, but five weeks out of it, I'm still in a lot of pain. It feels a bit worse than the pain I had before the procedure.

But yesterday, I spent a few hours on a painting, and today I feel like I've been run over by a truck. Maybe I got used to all the "relaxing," waiting for my body to heal. Or maybe it's god trying to punish me for not making art for so long. Either way, I'm not sure I can work on that painting today. I will probably try, then soon find out I can't do it.

Lately, while "relaxing," I've been doing a lot of life and art career planning. I bought three books on marketing and promotion, specifically for artists, and another book on working in general by Steven Pressfield. He's written many books on similar subjects. This is the first I've read of his work, and it's good so far.

I also almost took a week-long course on artist branding until I learned it was $1,000. It's not that it was too expensive for what it is, but I don't have $1,000 right now, which is what made me buy the books instead. Ha. The branding course is from a guy I follow on Substack. He always has excellent advice (in my opinion). I don't even know what his qualifications are, but I know he's helped all kinda of artists and entrepreneurs get their ball rolling or improve on promoting themselves. So, I took this guy's talking points from his description of the course, and tried to answer every one of them in regard to moi. It's not like taking the actual course, but I did it to define different elements of my art business. It's been interesting, and it lends itself to the steps I've created to help other artists get clarity on their goals. His are more streamlined and straightforward, especially since my methods are annoying because I blab so much.

As usual, too many words. :ROFLMAO:
 
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